I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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