She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
