redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
