don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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