chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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