it wasn't lemon gatorade
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think my nap took me to another dimension
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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