Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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