Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
