i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
