have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize