hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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