In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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