i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
