Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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