just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Maybe he injected his testicle?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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