I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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