i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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