garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wish my penis had an off switch
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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