Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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