Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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