So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize