I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The feeling are messing with the penis
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
