Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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