xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize