You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
