Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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