I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
