you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Randomize
