YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
