I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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