4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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