I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
