I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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