Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize