god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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