i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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