i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
