apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
