I need help removing her.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
