Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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