I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
