Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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