need another drink. this is the easiest way
Dual....:-)
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize