You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
