the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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