I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
