I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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