I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Floor bacon is actually really good
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize