I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
