I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Text me some of your sweat
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
