Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
