Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
