I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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