My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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