she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
