i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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