your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
