Me. At least after what I've been through.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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