She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
