I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
