im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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