Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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