All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
