If i come over, it means nothing
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Everything about him screamed your future.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
