Christians are straight up FREAKS
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
