WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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