East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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