Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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