Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
