he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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