I am puke
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
